How'd you get a whole log in there?

Everyone in Ohio has heard this already: the "King of Kings" statue that has been the butt of religion jokes and righteous indignation since its construction in 2004 at Solid Rock Church on I-75, burned down last night, apparently struck by the universally-recognized symbol of Holy Wrath from the Gods (a lightning bolt).

Everyone is talking about it. If the nightly news and Entertainment Tonight has taught me anything, when everyone is already talking about something, it means I need to blog about it.

Facebook is all a-flurry with people laughing at the obvious cosmic-irony of the situation, inferring that the atmospheric discharge that struck the 6-story, metal frame-filled representation of our Lord and Savior was some kind of message from On High, smiting the idol that these sinners worship before and burning it to the ground in an inferno usually reserved for the fiery pits of Hades.

Oh, jeez!

I will admit, I did the same. The thoughts occurred to me, and I commented mightily on the Intertubes. Then I sat down and took a quick look at myself.

(I'm not going to make any friends here. If you are set in that train of thought, that this was some kind of Holy Sign, and any implication of anything but will offend the crap out of you, maybe you should stop reading. If, on the other hand, you are up for a little self-inspection, please read on, and take what I say with a grain of salt.)

There's a story in the Bible, a parable, I believe that was spoken by the J-man himself: please enjoy while I lay some gospel on ya.

Matthew 7 (with paraphrasing): “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. ... Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Powerful stuff, Jesus. Powerful stuff.

I was one of the righteously indignant. "How many wells could they have built in third-world countries with the $0.5 million they spent on that gaudy monstrosity" I asked. Others around me have accused the people of Solid Rock Church of idolatry, worshipping at the foot of this 60-foot-tall representation of Jesus. And then I was reminded of Matthew 7.

Let's say they did. Lets say they got down and prayed in front of this thing (which they can't, really, since there's like a pond or something in front of it): how is that any different from getting on your hands and knees in front of the alter on Sunday morning, which more-than-likely has a cross or crucifix RIGHT THERE?

Sure, they probably could have spent that money in an area that WE would deem better, more worthy, but you know what? It was their money to spend, not mine, not yours. I'm sure there are areas of your life (I know that there are plenty of them in mine) where you spent money that could have been better suited somewhere else: did you NEED to buy a BMW, or a Harley, or that dress or suit you look great in, or that steak dinner with all the trimmings, or that ice cream sundae?

No. You didn't. And I didn't either.

We could have taken all that money, all the extra cash spent by Christians every year on stuff that we simply don't need because they're status symbols (or because "we deserve it, just this once", but it isn't "just this once", is it?) and pooled it in some kind of Jesus Fund and frikkin' BOUGHT Nigeria or Uzbekistan or Haiti and made it into a paradise where everyone is happy and we worship Jesus all day long singing happy songs and wearing potato bags.

But we don't. We buy the cars, and watches, and suits, and steak dinners, and ice cream desserts and most people tithe their 10% on Sunday and feel happy and justified, but we could have done more. We could all do more.

These people at Solid Rock Church are a mystery to me. They could be a cult, with crazy devil-worshipping orgies held inside their Jesus statue, and they had one Monday, and God finally got fed up enough that he fried them all.

OR.

They could be a strong, God-fearing church that is so prosperous and so blessed by God that they felt a good thing to spend a little surplus money on was a great big statue of the Son of God. And maybe what happened last night was a bad thunderstorm that finally picked up on the metal poles inside of it and the resulting collision of positive and negative ions created a lightning strike that had absolutely nothing to do with the wrath of God.

I mean, look at all that metal.

There are worse things to spend money on. In fact, another one of the 10 Commandments (the one we mentioned earlier about Idols is in there) is "Thou shalt not steal". Well, since you're on the Internet, you've probably stolen some music, or a movie, or even just a picture that didn't belong to you but you thought was cool and decided to add to a Facebook album (you know that little box you click that says you "Have the right to distribute this picture"? Sometimes, I doubt it).

Please don't feel attacked. This isn't meant for any one individual, or if it is, it's meant for me. I'm just as bad. But it seems that for a while now, I've had this log in my eye, and I haven't been seeing clearly.

And it really, really hurt.